Dealing With Anxiety (What Helps Me)

I am a constant worrier. I pretty much make any situation (no matter how small) bigger and more dramatic than it needs to be. Have you ever seen that meme “I stress about stress before there’s even stress to stress about”? Yeah. That’s me. I know I’m not the only one who gets like this sometimes. I know you, who is reading this right now is probably stressed and anxious about something too. I’m here to tell you that it’s completely NORMAL. Everyone has felt this emotion at some point in life, and like every emotion, it is meant for us to acknowledge, work through, and LET GO OF. At this point, you may be saying “Oh I can definitely acknowledge it, but how do I work through it and let it go?” In my experience, I’ve come up with a few tips and tricks to help calm me down, and I’m here to share them with you. 

#1 It’s All Temporary

Think back to the last time you were ridden with anxiety. It could’ve been last month, last week, or even within the last 24 hours. Remember all your thoughts and how uncomfortable you felt? Have you realized that you’ve lived everyday since then, and that you’re still alive? One thing that has really helped me overcome a bout of anxiety is to remember that, no matter how I’m feeling in the moment, it’s all temporary. Just as the sun rises out from the clouds, I too will rise above this feeling.

#2 Control

When your anxiety flares up, everything in your life (including your own body) seems out of your control. When you believe you are not in control, you feel helpless to the people, things, and circumstances around you. What I like to do in these situations is to find the nearest mirror, look myself straight in my eyes, and say “I am in control of my emotions. I choose not to cry over this or worry about this anymore”. Almost immediately after speaking this into existence, I feel a weight lift off my shoulders. What I have realized in myself is that I tend to want to control everything, and when I’m unable to, I start to panic. Understanding that I may not be able to control what happens to me, but I can control my reactions to these situations has helped me to become a stronger and more capable person.

 #3 Acceptance

I once heard a quote from Eckhart Tolle that went something like “Things are neither negative nor positive. They just are”. We choose what type of energy we give to situations. A perfect example of this is a rainy day. You might get bummed out because it’s raining, and your plans got canceled, but while you’re sitting in your room feeling angry and upset, you see someone outside smiling, laughing, and dancing in the rain. You were given the same (neutral) situation, and you both chose to react to it differently. Once you accept what is happening to you at any given moment as a neutral occurrence, you harness the power to give it any type of reaction that you choose. I don’t know about you, but knowing I have that type of power makes me feel confident enough to be able to handle anything!

#4 Be Grateful

I’m not saying to be happy that an anxiety attack hit. What I’m saying is to find something within that space to be grateful for. Maybe you learned another trigger to avoid? Or you realized that you’re getting better at handling these attacks? Finding and listing things to be grateful for everyday in all situations, really does lead to a healthier, happier, more meaningful life (as cliché as it sounds).

#5 Let Go of the Negative

Have you ever been in a not so ideal situation that you complained about or were annoyed with? What happened when you expressed those negative emotions? Probably nothing. You were still involved in whatever was causing your negative emotions, and you still felt annoyed. What if instead you chose to have a more positive attitude towards it? Your whole mood would have been lifted, you would’ve felt better, and although you would still have to deal with the situation, you probably would have worked through it a lot faster. Harboring negative emotions keeps you stuck in a negative place, but choosing to be happy lifts you up and allows you to radiate positivity. It’s all about choice. It’s your choice.

#6 Realize You Are Not a Prisoner

My last tip is probably the most important of all. When we get into an anxious space, it seems a lot easier for us to feel alone and to hear our negative thoughts. Your mind is like a split personality; it is your best friend, and your worst enemy. It’s up to you to distinguish between the two, and to decide which one you will listen to. It may take some time, but concentrate on how each of your thoughts make you feel and give energy to the ones that lift you up and make you feel good. Once you realize that you are not a prisoner to your mind, and that you don’t have to believe everything you think, you will be able to avoid many more negative situations.

 As you read over this list of tips and tricks to help you through an episode, I hope that you notice the common theme: everything is a choice. No, you may not choose to have an anxiety attack, but you can choose how you handle it and whether or not you overcome it feeling better and stronger on the other side. Our minds are powerful things, but once we realize that we are always in control of them; that they don’t control us, life tends to become a little less stressful, and we become more positive so that we may be that person who smiles, laughs, and dances in the rain.

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